These last 4 days have kind of been a blur. I had my second little girl on Wednesday but came home from the hospital on Friday without her. It is hard for me to accept the fact that she is no longer in my belly and that she can't be at home with me for now. The nurses say she could be in the NICU for 3-6 weeks while she continues to grow and develop. Her lungs are fully developed so she is breathing great on her own but she is just so little and still very sleepy. Since she is so sleepy she doesn't wake herself up to eat so they have to feed her through a tube. I am only allowed to hold her twice a day and feed her twice a day because they don't want her to get over stimulated. Once she is waking up on her own and showing cues of hunger and wanting to nurse she will be able to come home as long as she does it consistently for 48 hours.
It has been hard for me not knowing how she is doing. Wondering if she is warm...if she is hungry... if she is uncomfortable... if she is stressed.... or if she knows how much I love her. I know the nurses are so great and do all they can but I just pray every night that they will have a soft spot in their heart for T-lee. Sometimes I just feel like they look at her as just another baby they take care of and I just wish they loved her like I do.
I can't wait to bring her home with us someday soon. All the things I had taken for granted I won't anymore. I can't wait to dress her, wake up in the middle of the night with her, feed her, swaddle her, and change her diaper. I can't wait for Savannah to meet her little sister.
As of now I get to see her at 10:30am and 7:30 pm. I love the time I get with her... it is amazing how much love you can have for your children. I am grateful every day to be a mother. I love both my girls so very much!